Come stai? How are you?
To ask and answer this all important question, you’ll need the Italian verb “stare”. It’s one of the first and most important words you need to know.
But it’s a little weird at times!
Stare literally means “to stay”, but Italians use it in a variety of situations that can feel confusing when you’re learning.
The good news: once you know the common ways to use stare , you’ll feel much more confident dropping this verb into conversation.
Come stai? Talking about how you are
You can’t get very far in conversation without this! We use stare in this opening exchange:
Come stai? - Sto bene, grazie! - How are you? - I’m fine, thanks!
In Italian, you should use the verb stare to talk about how people are. It usually pairs with the following words:
Bene – good; fine; well
Male – bad; unwell
Let’s see some examples:
Come sta Matteo? – Sta bene, grazie! – How’s Matteo? – He’s good, thanks!
Sto male, devo sedermi – I’m not well, I need to sit down.
I Sardi stanno bene – Sardinians are well/healthy
Did you notice? In Italian, we say stare, literally “to stay” to talk about health and wellbeing, while in English we use “to be”. To learn more about these differences, check out this post on stare vs. essere in Italian .
STARE for spending time
The Italian way of life is laid-back and meaningful: it’s important to spend time with people you love, doing things you love! To talk about spending time, be it with people, or in situations and places, you’ll need the verb stare.
For example:
È importante stare con la famiglia.
It’s important to spend time with family.
Matteo è del Sud quindi gli piace stare al mare!
Matteo’s from the South so he likes spending time at the seaside!
La domenica stiamo a tavola per ore.
On Sundays we’re at the (dinner) table for hours.
In English, we can also translate these sentences with “be” (= I like being with my family, I like being at the seaside). The important thing to remember is this: if there’s an underlying idea of “spending time”, in Italian we normally use the verb stare.
Stay like that! STARE for instructions
Be quiet! Stay calm! Stay seated! When we’re giving instructions to remain in a certain state, we often use the verb stare . Here are some examples:
Stai calma/o* – stay calm (also = stai tranquilla/o )
Stai attenta/o – be careful; stay alert
Stai ferma/o – stay still
Stai zitta/o – shut up; be quiet
Stai seduta/o – stay seated
*–a is the feminine ending and –o is the masculine.
Fixed expressions with STARE
There are quite a lot of other expressions where you’ll find “stare”, too! In these cases, it’s best to learn the whole phrase without worrying too much about the logic behind each word.
Let’s see some examples:
Lascia stare – let it go, leave it be, forget about it
Ti sta bene – it suits you
Mi sta a cuore – it’s important to me (lit. it stays at my heart)
Stammi bene – take care of yourself
These are a few of the most common ones you can get started with to use in conversation, there are others too, which we’ll cover in a different lesson in future!
When you’re about to do something (STARE PER)
There are two things Italians do a lot which are sometimes incompatible: talking on the phone and enjoying a meal with loved ones, distraction free.
When everyone’s around the dinner table and the phone rings, you’ll often hear this phrase:
Stiamo per mangiare, ti chiamo dopo! – We’re about to eat, I’ll call you later!
This handy phrase stare per means “to be about to do something”. Here are a couple more examples:
- Hai un minuto? - No, scusami, sto per uscire.
- Do you have a minute? - No, sorry, I’m about to go out.
Shhhh, il film sta per iniziare.
Shhh, the film is about to start.
When you’re in the middle of something (–ing form)
You know how in English we use “ing” to talk about something we’re doing right this moment? For example:
I’m eating
What are you drinking?
She’s sleeping…
In Italian we use the verb stare in these sentences. For example:
Sto mangiando = I’m eating
Cosa stai bevendo? = What are you drinking?
Sta dormendo = S/he’s sleeping
The verb that follows stare ends in -ando (-ARE verbs) or -endo (-IRE and -ERE verbs).
Stare Conjugations: Present, Past and Future
Verbs change in Italian depending on who we’re talking about. So far, we’ve seen a few different forms of stare in the present. For example:
Sto bene – I’m fine
Stiamo a tavola – We’re at the (dinner) table
Here’s how to use stare in the present for everyone:
| Stare: Presente | |
| I (io)* | sto |
| You (tu) | stai |
| S/he (lei/lui); You formal (Lei) | sta |
| We (noi) | stiamo |
| You plural (voi) | state |
| They (loro) | stanno |
* In Italian, we usually omit words like io (I) and tu (you) because the verb ending already tells us who is doing the action.
Stare: Futuro
Next, let’s see how to use stare in the future. For example:
Starò male se bevo tutto questo vino! – I’ll be unwell if I drink all this wine!
Quanto starai in Italia? – How long will you stay in Italy?
Here are the different forms:
| Stare: Futuro | |
| I (io) | starò |
| You (tu) | starai |
| S/he (lei/lui); you formal (Lei) | starà |
| We (noi) | staremo |
| You plural (voi) | starete |
| They (loro) | staranno |
Stare: Passato Prossimo
To talk about finished experiences in the past, we use a form called the “passato prossimo”. For example:
Sono stata in piscina tutto il giorno – I stayed at the pool all day
Siamo stati con i miei cugini – We spent time with my cousins
Here are the different forms:
| Stare: Passato Prossimo | |
| I (io) | sono stata/o* |
| You (tu) | sei stata/o |
| S/he (lei/lui); You formal (Lei) | è stata/o |
| We (noi) | siamo state/i |
| You plural (voi) | siete state/i |
| They (loro) | sono state/i |
*The last letter agrees with the number and gender of the people we’re talking about.
And here’s an interesting bonus for you! This is also the past form of essere (to be) and it often translates as “been”. For example:
Sono stato in Italia tre volte – I’ve been to Italy three times
Sono stato male – I’ve been ill
Stare: Imperfetto
For things that were ongoing in the past, we use a form called the “imperfetto”. For example:
Stavo pensando… mangiamo fuori? – I was thinking… shall we eat out?
Stavo leggendo e mi sono addormentato – I was reading and I fell asleep
| Stare: Imperfetto | |
| I (io) | stavo |
| You (tu) | stavi |
| S/he (lei/lui); You formal (Lei) | stava |
| We (noi) | stavamo |
| You plural (voi) | stavate |
| They (loro) | stavano |
We also use this form with the expression stare per (to be about to):
Stavo per chiamarti – I was about to call you
Stavi per dire qualcosa? – Were you about to say something?
Stare – The Italian Verb You Need to Know: Review
Phew, you just learned a lot about the verb stare! Let’s review the main points in a handy summary. You should use stare in these situations:
| How people are (with bene and male ) | Come stai? Sto bene! How are you? I’m fine! |
| Spending time with people, in situations or places | Stare con la famiglia To be (spend time with) with family |
| Instructions to remain in a certain state | Stai calma! (f); Stai calmo! (m) Stay calm! |
| Fixed expressions | Lascia stare Let it go |
| About to do something (with per ) | Stiamo per mangiare We’re about to eat |
| The “-ing” form | Sto mangiando I’m eating |
Here are some common forms of stare you’ll hear in everyday conversations:
| Presente | Futuro | Passato prossimo | Imperfetto | |
| I (io) | sto | starò | sono stata/o | stavo |
| You (tu) | stai | starai | sei stata/o | stavi |
| S/he (lei/lui) ; You formal (Lei) | sta | starà | è stata/o | stava |
| We (noi) | stiamo | staremo | siamo state/i | stavamo |
| You plural (voi) | state | starete | siete state/i | stavate |
| They (loro) | stanno | staranno | sono state/i | stavano |
If this feels like a lot, don’t worry, that’s because it is! Remember, you don’t need to learn everything all at once. Start with the sections that feel most intuitive and layer on the new information bit by bit.
And don't forget to stare calmo!
Please note, this is not a word for word transcript.
K: Ciao a tutti e benvenuti! Hi everyone and welcome to “Learn Italian with Joy of Languages”.
M: Ciao!
K: So what’s the secret? Come on Matteo. I want to live to a hundred, most people listening probably want to live to a hundred…
M: The answer is simple, and it’s related to the Italian verb stare. So today learning Italian grammar will help you live a long and healthy life.
K: Fantastico! Let’s listen to the conversation:
M: Cosa stai bevendo?
K: Cannonau.
M: Mm…buono. Ma perché un vino sardo?
K: Sto per compiere 40 anni e… i sardi sono molto longevi.
M: Lascia stare!
K: Ma in Sardegna stanno bene…
M: Perché stanno in compagnia e stanno tranquilli, non per il vino!
K: Let’s break that down word for word.
M: Cosa stai bevendo? – What are you drinking?
Cosa – What
Stai – You stay
Bevendo – Drinking
K: Here’s our first use of stare. Stare literally means “to stay” in Italian but we use it in loads of different situations, where we wouldn’t normally say “stay” in English. In this case, we use it to talk about something we’re doing right this moment. I am drinking becomes: sto bevendo. Italians literally say “I stay drinking”. It kind of makes sense if you think about it. Something I’m doing right now, I stay doing it. I am drinking is actually “I stay drinking”.
M: Sto bevendo
K: Or you are drinking, “you stay drinking” is:
M: Stai bevendo
K: Then I answered:
M: Cannonau – Cannonau. This is a very strong, full-bodied wine from Sardinia. And Matteo replied…
M: Mm…buono. – Mmm, tasty. K: Just a quick note here, we always use buono to talk about how something tastes (not bene or bello ). For taste, always buono. Then Matteo asked:
M: Ma perché un vino sardo? – But why a Sardinian wine? Ma – But Perché – Why Un vino – A wine Sardo – Sardinian
K: In Italian we put the describing word after the thing, so “wine Sardinian” is vino sardo. Then I answered:
M: Sto per compiere 40 anni – I’m about to turn 40 Sto – I stay Per – for, in this case “about to”, more on this in a sec Compiere – accomplish Quarant’anni – Forty years
K: To talk about turning a certain age, Italians say that they accomplish the age. To turn 40, is compiere quarant’anni. I’m about to turn 40.
M: In a couple of years!
K: I’m preparing myself. I’m about to. And here you heard the phrase stare per which means “to be about to”. Sto means “I stay” and per means “for”. So to say “I’m about to” we literally say “I stay for”. It kind of makes sense in a way. I stay in this moment for the thing I’m about to do. If that funny logic doesn’t help, you can also just memorise the phrase. I’m about to.
M: Sto per (x2)
K: We stay is stiamo. How would you say “we’re about to eat?”. Literally we stay for eat?
M: Stiamo per mangiare (x2)
K: Next I said
M: e… i sardi sono molto longevi – and Sardinians live a very long time. Literally I sardi – Sardinians Sono – are Molto – Very Longevi – long lived
K: Cannonau wine really is cited as one of the possible reasons Sardinians live so long. Apparently it has the highest level of anti-aging polyphenols of any red wine. So that seems like a good reason to drink it. But Matteo isn’t convinced. He said:
M: Lascia stare! – Forget about it! Literally: Lascia – Leave Stare – Stay
K: Here’s another little fixed expression. Lascia stare means leave it be, let it go, forget about it. It kind of makes sense. Let it go, let it be, in Italian we say “leave stay”. But often with these kinds of expressions it helps to just remember and repeat the little chunk:
M: Lascia stare (x2)
K: I’d still like to make my case for drinking the wine so then I said:
K: Ma in Sardegna stanno bene… – But in Sardinia they’re healthy, they’re well. Literally: Ma – But In – in Sardegna – Sardinia Stanno – They stay Bene – Well
K: And here, you can see that we use the verb stare to talk about how we are, in terms of our wellbeing. You’ve probably heard this with the expression Come stai? How are you? Italians literally say “how” ( come ) “you stay” ( stai ). It’s usually used with bene (good, or well) or male (bad, or unwell). In this case, Sardinians are well, as in ‘healthy’. They stay well.
M: Stanno bene (x2)
K: Now we finally get to Matteo’s theory. Why do they live so long?
M: Perché stanno in compagnia – Because they spend time in the company of others. Literally: Perché – Because Stanno – They stay In – In Compagnia – Company
K: Italians often use stare when there’s an idea of spending time, either with people or in places.
M: Yes, for example, we can say stare al mare (x2). One of my favourite things to do!
K: Literally “to stay at the seaside”, which means to be there, to spend time there.
M: Or a very important one in Italian culture stare a tavola (x2). This means to be around the table, as in to spend time there.
K: Matteo then continues his very sensible theory, which unfortunately doesn’t include wine.
M: e stanno tranquilli – and they’re calm E – And Stanno – They stay Tranquilli – Calm
K: Here’s another little fixed expression. Stare tranquillo, to “stay tranquil”, means to be calm. You can also say stare calmo, although there’s a slight difference – tranquillo can be used more for character in general, while calmo might be in the moment, if you’re telling someone to calm down. Stai calmo. I know these expressions are a bit annoying because we keep saying “just learn them”.
M: But there are lots in English too, I know because they’re hard for me! They’re a natural part of any language.
K: Yeah. And the more you just think “oh, ok” and try to remember the little chunk, without stressing about the logic, the faster you learn them. Next Matteo said:
M: non per il vino! – not because of the wine! Non – Not Per – for (in this case it means “because of”) Il vino – the wine
K: Matteo’s really determined to take away my excuse for drinking Cannonau .
M: You should drink it for pleasure, because you like it! That’s the Italian way. Let’s listen to the conversation again:
M: Cosa stai bevendo?
K: Cannonau.
M: Mm…buono. Ma perché un vino sardo?
K: Sto per compiere 40 anni e… i sardi sono molto longevi.
M: Lascia stare!
K: Ma in Sardegna stanno bene…
M: Perché stanno in compagnia e stanno tranquilli, non per il vino!
K: We’ve covered a lot today because the verb stare is quite a big topic! To see the different categories written down and learn a few more handy fixed phrases, head over to our website by clicking on the link in the description.
M: You’ll also get bonus materials, like vocabulary cards and a quiz, to help you make sure it all goes in!
K - See you next time.
M - Or as we say in Italian.
Alla prossima!
Time to check your understanding and remember everything you just learned! Below you’ll find a mini-quiz and some vocabulary cards to help it all go in.
Quiz
How much did you learn? Find out in the quiz!
Click here to take the quiz for this episode: Stare: The Italian Verb You Need to Know!
Vocabulary
Come stai? = How are you? (lit. how you stay?)
I Sardi stanno bene = Sardinians are healthy/well (lit. The Sardinians stay well)
Cosa stai bevendo? = What are you drinking?
Stiamo per mangiare = We’re about to eat
Mi piace stare al mare = I like spending time at the seaside (lit. stay at the sea)
Lascia stare! = Let it go; forget about it
Stare a tavola = To spend time at the dinner table (lit. stay at table)
Flashcards: Stare: The Italian Verb You Need to Know!
Remember the vocabulary from this lesson by downloading the digital flashcards
Not sure how it works? Click here to watch the tutorial
